It’s Not Too Late . . . or is it? The Lilybits Campaign Resumes
Well, now I’m sorry I pulled out of the presidential race too soon during the primaries. However, if you’d like to write me in, it’s not too late. That’s right: Lilybits for President in 2016!
My platform is simple: Do you want to unite this country? Make everyone a cat lover. That’s right, I’m promising a home for every rescue cat. If people were busy taking care of helpless animals, they would learn to be more loving. Besides if you can learn to put up with a fussy feline, who demands only certain food, whom you have to chase, play with, and give treats to, so that they may be placated to sit on your lap, then you will learn patience. And it’s about time. Loving and patient people make better citizens.
Don’t forget, cats can read your mind. How often have you been planning on getting out of a chair when your cat deems it necessary to be petted and fussed over? I will use the information other cats impart to me telepathically to govern accordingly.
As a regal feline, monarchs and dictators are no match for me! Just ask Mom. I usually get what I want by hypnotizing my opponent into submission with my big green eyes or annoying them into submission by whining.
Yes, it’s not too late. If you write in LILYBITS, THE TAIL-LESS WONDER for president on your ballot, you will certainly contribute to: stopping a market decline, the spread of the swine flu, declension of Western society, bad hair days, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and dog being man’s best friend.
Vote for me! I’ll set you free! If you need more convincing, go here and read my article from last year.