It’s Not Too Late . . . or is it? The Lilybits Campaign Resumes

 In Let's Chat, Lilybits

Well, now I’m sorry I pulled out of the presidential race too soon during the primaries. However, if you’d like to write me in, it’s not too late. That’s right: Lilybits for President in 2016!

My platform is simple: Do you want to unite this country? Make everyone a cat lover. That’s right, I’m promising a home for every rescue cat. If people were busy taking care of helpless animals, they would learn to be more loving. Besides if you can learn to put up with a fussy feline, who demands only certain food, whom you have to chase, play with, and give treats to, so that they may be placated to sit on your lap, then you will learn patience. And it’s about time. Loving and patient people make better citizens.

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Don’t forget, cats can read your mind. How often have you been planning on getting out of a chair when your cat deems it necessary to be petted and fussed over? I will use the information other cats impart to me telepathically to govern accordingly.

As a regal feline, monarchs and dictators are no match for me! Just ask Mom. I usually get what I want by hypnotizing my opponent into submission with my big green eyes or annoying them into submission by whining.

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How people will act after I’m elected!

Yes, it’s not too late. If you write in LILYBITS, THE TAIL-LESS WONDER for president on your ballot, you will certainly contribute to: stopping a market decline, the spread of the swine flu, declension of Western society, bad hair days, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and dog being man’s best friend.

Vote for me! I’ll set you free! If you need more convincing, go here and read my article from last year.

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Showing 2 comments
  • Elaine Stock
    Reply

    Lilybits, you have my vote! You have a kind and fair heart, truly concerned for everyone. I know you will make a cat lover out of each one of us. That’s the best way for world peace.

  • kerouser@gmail.com
    Reply

    Thank you for your support, Miss Elaine. As a most humble feline I am most flattered
    that you believe I could be instrumental in bringing peace to this world.

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